I recently had someone ask me a question at work that is worth discussing. The question one of my coworkers asked me is this- Why do people feel the need to have all these labels these days? As in, why do the LGBT community feel the need for so many labels. And with pride month coming up this certainly is a worthy topic to discuss.
Many new terms have entered popular parlance, which I have found to be confusing for some people. Language is a funny thing, evolving over time to define things once undefined. At times, coming back like a vintage style that you thought would never come back into fashion.
I feel as though I can speak best if I first go to my own experiences of being queer- namely- Demisexual. To be demisexual means that if you do not feel an emotional connection to someone, you are not likely to feel sexual attraction to them. As a teenager, I felt different, feeling alien to my fellow schoolmates. Where everyone was twitterpated and forming crushes left and right, there were only a few cases in my entire k-12 span of existence that I could claim to have had a crush myself.
We live in a hypersexualized world, and to me, it felt so very strange. And I didn’t really get why people were so… much about it. And while I found it odd, I also found it alienating that I, too, wasn’t like that.
I found out about the term asexual (no sexual attraction to others) and demisexual in college, and the amount of relief I felt cannot be put into words. Labels help shape the experiences people have. And the knowledge that something is common enough to put a name to means you’re not the only one going through it.
We’re the farthest from wanting to be “special snowflakes” from all these labels. Each of these labels, particularly ones involving sexuality, represents a community of people who may be on the same page as you when it comes to relationships. They show that you’re not alone, that there are people like you. And that’s very comforting.